Rantin' 'bout window cranks...

I'm a writer. And sometimes we writers only get contentment out of laying down a rant. Because while complaining is horribly unattractive, writing it out can be surprisingly satisfying.


I drive a 1996 Suzuki Sidekick. It's a lovely little car, really. And while she has her quirks, I still enjoy her quite a bit. But, she has one quirk which is quite irksome. Her front windows don't roll up straight, they lean a bit, and one has to slide the glass a bit and then crank the handle a bit, slide, crank, slide, crank... Ugh!

This can be challenging when driving, as customarily one drives with at least one hand on the steering wheel. Somewhere around four months ago I was driving to work, and needed to roll my window back up. Instead of stopping my car to fiddle with the window, I decided to thrash down on the crank and force the window up. It had worked previously a couple times, so why not try again?

Well, this behavior proved to be very naughty. I was rewarded by hearing a sharp crunching sound. Oh the joy! And the window crank was proven utterly useless. Well, useless at rolling the window up. But I thought maybe it had just gotten knocked out of alignment, so I rolled it all the way down in hopes that it would re-engage, and I'd be able to roll it back up. No dice, son.

So there I was, driving a near-hour drive to work, at two-o'clock in the morning, the entire way with my window rolled as far down as it could go. I turned up the heat, but it didn't really help any. Later that evening (While I was sleeping...) my dad pulled off the door paneling and got the window rolled back into place, so that I wouldn't have to worry about folk breaking in and stealing my stuff. My dad's awesome.

Fast forward a bit, I finally decided it was time I fixed that window. So I discovered that the 'regulator' was the part that was broken (Stripped out by the force I put into thrashing on that crank.) and that I could get one for about forty bucks on eBay. I made the order, the piece arrived, and it sat in my car's boot for the next two months. A couple sunny days inspired me to break out my elbow grease and get the darn thing fixed. Because I really like driving with my windows down when the weather's nice around these parts.

So. I pulled out the replacement part, collected my tools, turned a radio on really loud, and got to work. An hour later, I had gutted the door, removed the old regulator, and was scratching my head and wondering why the sodding replacement part wouldn't fit. Was it the wrong part? It was the wrong part, wasn't it! Ah - man!

The guy I bought the part from clearly stated 'No Returns or Exchanges' and my buyer protection through eBay was only with 45 days... so I was stuck with the part. The part I couldn't use. Dang. Sidekicks come in two versions. Two door soft-tops, and four door hard ones. I think this part is for the two door version, where-is, mine's the four door one.

So... I called up a salvage yard that supposedly specialized in Suzuki automobiles, waited on hold for ten minutes, asked if they had the regulator I needed, and they said they could have it in a couple days. Really - I wanted then and there, but what could I do? So I made the order. The hundred and eight dollar order. At the end of the week I still didn't have the part, nor had I received a call about my order, so I called to find out if they had it. The guy on the phone accused me of not being patient so I kinda' just hung up and pouted. I'm impatient, huh? You had me on hold for ten minutes before even asking what I needed, and you accuse me of being impatient? Bugger you!

So yesterday I drove out to the yard, told the guy he was rude, and had him check up on my regulator order. He had my hundred bucks, and I'd driven forty-five minutes out to his yard, he'd better give me some sodding service! He ended up being pretty good about it, even taking me out into the yard to go through doors. But to no avail. They didn't have my part, and the folks they had ordered through hadn't even shipped it at that point. So I politely requested my money back and headed back home.

And now here I am. My only bet is ordering the regulator online, because no-one within an affordable driving distance has one they could sell me. The best deal I can find is about eighty bucks. Which, quite frankly, sucks. I can buy two automatic, power window regulators for that much! So I'm wondering if it isn't more worth my time and money to just switch out my locks and windows to automatic ones. But what a project that would be! Ugh... Five months ago I never even knew what a window regulator was. Now I feel like I wish I never had had to learn! Bah!

So... if you're looking for a window regulator for your 96 Suzuki Sidekick, I have one I can sell to you for eighty bucks. Oh! And it won't even work! What about that? Sound like a deal? Yeah. I thought so too. Alright. I'm done ranting.

Chainmail

Not to be even the least bit confused with chain-mail which I consider pretty ridiculous. Just sayin'...

Those of you who don't know, chainmail was a thin, flexible armor worn by soldiers in the medieval periods. It was woven from chains of rings, hence the both clever and witty name. Chainmail was less expensive and easier to make than plated armor, so it was far more widely worn by military personnel. It also helped in filling gaps between the plates of armor suites. Basically, chainmail was your go-to-guy when you climbed from your straw mattress and scratched your head about what to wear to the impending battle that awaited you later that day.

Some folk go all 'olde' by spelling it with an extra 'L' and 'E' tacked at the end, and good on them for it. Wonderful show, and what not. But it doesn't really matter, and barely anybody knows what you're talking about in that case.

But what's the use of all this idle rambling? Well... when's there ever a use for it? The point (Because yes, despite what you may be thinking at this point, there really is a point to all this.) is I've been meaning to weave myself some chainmail for several years now, but kept being distracted and never really looked into it. But semi-recently I sat down and did myself a bit of research. Turns out, it's really not that difficult to make a bit of the stuff. And I picked it up pretty swiftly. So for those interested. I'll give you an idea of the process I use to make chainmail. Most of the tools and things that I use I bought at the Ace Hardware store where I work. Also - because I'm an employee there, I have a pretty out of sight discount which is incredibly handy when I have DIY projects like this one.

 



First, I built this little rig. It's made of an old two-by-four I found and a steel rod I purchased at Ace. The rod is 3/8ths of an inch in diameter and something close to a yard long. A shorter rod may have been more manageable, but it works well enough.

 

A drilled a hole big enough to slide my twelve-gauge wire through into the rod. Easy enough, actually, despite the rounded surface of the rod.

 

Before inserting the wire, I tighten a cordless drill onto the end of the rod. Then I slide a length of wire through the hole. Back in the middle ages, folks didn't have power tools. But I think the smithies of old will forgive me this shortcut. (It's not the first, and I doubt it'll be the last.)

 

Then I run the drill on a slow speed, collecting the wire on the rod. Pictured is only a small length. Usually I run wire 'round the length of the rod, so as to get as much rolled in one go as possible. Because really, in my opinion, this is all the most boring part of the job. I wear a nice pear of leather gloves while winding the wire, so as to keep from losing any fingers.

 

Once wrapped, the wire needs be cut on both ends. I try to preserve as much wire as I can, so I usually cut pretty close to my coils.

 

The result is a coil that very much resembles a long spring. Oh - what fun! I've never actually played around with these much, though, because I don't want to bend my wire. Getting it wrapped so close down the length of the rod is a task in and of itself, and I'm opposed to fooling around and ruining what I just put amounts of effort into.

 

Gawsh - it's cold out in that garage! Back in the warm house, I break out my bolt-cutters (The ones I got at Ace...) and clip away at the spring-like-thingy. I wear gloves for this job too, because they provide my palms with cushion. Because clipping twelve-gauge steel wire is tough work, son.

 

When finished, one has a pile of rings, all with an interior diameter the same as their steel rod. In my case, that's 3/8ths of an inch. The pile in the image is only an illustration. I get a lot more rings out of my springs than that. I think the pictured spring gave me something close to two-hundred rings.

 

Now the fun part begins, yo! The weave I've been using is the four-in-one weave. Basically, every four rings are attached by one central ring. In the picture, the five rings on the left make up the 'four-in-one' on the right.

It just makes sense to me, to make four four-in-ones and then weave those together.

The pattern continues. One ring for every four. Two four-in-ones make up the length on the right.

And again, one ring for every four. I use a pair of pliers per-hand to twist the steel rings into shape. (One which my dad gave me about a lifetime ago and one I bought at Ace Hardware.) On small bits like this, it's not difficult at all. But when working on larger lengths, the steel will start to get heavy.

 

 The bit on the left is four four-in-ones woven together. The one on the right is, you guessed it, four of those woven together. (So... then that's... four four four-in-ones?)

The length on the left in this illustration is the four four four-in-one pictured in the last photo. And the length on the right is only two of those. For as much fun as I find this to be, it's really tedious and made much easier by listening to a totally rad' playlist all the while. Which I do. I haven't finished weaving anything wearable yet, but I'm working on it. Hopefully I'll have my coife (Headpiece like a hood, usually worn under a helmet.) worked out and finished soon. Chainmail is awful fun to fiddle with, too. I know that probably sounds really random, but just fashion a small length and you'll be unable to put it down. It just begs to be swished around and shaken and dropped and... well, and worn. But I'm getting there!

Writing Meeting: 01/31/2013

Our last meeting somehow slipped from my chronicling and by golly I’m not about to let this one do the same. Wherein at our last meeting we met to discuss plotlines for our upcoming works, this meeting involved reading through the first bits of our stories. I’ve started another novelette and I am very much pleased with the progress. It’s going very smoothly. Also – it fared well at the meeting. There were no major changes suggested, but some intriguing suggestions were made and my mind was made concerning some plot points I was less sure about. Overall, I feel the meeting was very constructive. And not only concerning writing. Recently, because of work schedules for us members, we’ve had to change meeting times to the evenings, and consequently meeting places as well. I think it is apparent that we miss our meeting’s older dwelling, but this new substitute will do. At least it gives us the opportunity to crack on.

I mentioned how nice it is to be writing creatively again. I didn’t realize how much I was missing doing so until I sat down and starting bashing out another story. Now I feel enlivened in a way. I’m excited about this novelette and what I’ll be able to do with it. I’m also intrigued by what I’ll learn from it. Oddly enough, one’s own writing has a lovely way of showing how awful a writer you really can be, or how much better you could portray something should you switch things about. My last novelette taught me a lot of important things about my writing. It sounds odd, perhaps, but one’s writing can tell the writer quite a bit, should he listen. I’m looking forward to the next writing meeting, but also to getting some more of my story written out. I’ve got a lot of ideas that I’m excited to write down. Now all that’s left is to get cracking.

A Daft Scotsman in the making...

        Scotsmen come in all shapes and sizes. I have the honor of knowing one of the most adorable wee' fellows this side of the Bonnie banks of Loch Lomond. Joel may not be an official Scott, nonetheless he has the bold heart of a Highland Clansman. His sister took it upon herself to stitch him a wee' kilt as a Christmas present. We wore our Highland costumes to the Christmas Eve service our church held, and certainly looked our very finest for the occasion.

       The wee' lad wore a cap which matched his vest, and completed his garb with a rubber knife tucked into his sock. I was quite impressed by his sister's ability to emulate the look of the kilt with her sewing. He really did look the part of a wee' Scotsman!

        Jo-jo followed me around the entire night. He refused to be separated from me. Even the likes of Wallace or Bruce never saw such zealousness in their followers. It was actually quite comical. Naturally, I was immensely flattered and accepted him as an honorary Scott and something of a protégé. Hopefully we'll have an opportunity to wear our Highland garb again soon.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Film Review

       The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a film directed by Peter Jackson. The film has an ensemble cast boasting names like Hugo Weaving, Ian McKellen, Cate Blanchett, Martin Freeman, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Andy Serkis, and Richard Armitage and is meant to be an adaption of the first third of the literary work The Hobbit by author J.R.R. Tolkien. An Unexpected Journey is the first of a trilogy of films which will be based on the fantasy-adventure story. I, as well as many others, was skeptical that this was simply an attempt by film-makers to rake in extra cash from radical fans who are more than willing to hash out the price of a ticket to finally experience this long awaited film adaption. The film’s director, Peter Jackson, claimed instead that he wanted to spend as much time as he could giving justice to Tolkien’s lovely story, and said three films would make that so much easier. Nonetheless, I remained skeptical. At least, I did until I saw the film for the first time. I’ve seen An Unexpected Journey twice now in theaters. And I do have to say, it's worth the price of admission.

 

       An Unexpected Journey follows a hobbit named Bilbo Baggins as he is thrust on an unwanted and unexpected adventure, along with thirteen dwarves and one wizard. The journey is a dangerous trek to the lonely mountain, in an attempt that the thirteen dwarves, assisted by the wizard Gandalf, and Bilbo, might reclaim their homeland and the treasure long lost in its depths. The film opens with Bilbo Baggins narrating to Frodo, his heir, his adventures sixty years past. The imagery is gorgeous, and the accompanying score is fantastic. And for the rest of the film, quality differs little. The music is a moving and original score composed by Howard Shore, who also composed the soundtracks for Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings movies. Performance is beyond par, as not a single piece of poor acting can be found in An Unexpected Journey one could search it intensely and find none. Not a bit.

 

       I’ve heard complaints that excessive amounts of computer rendered imagery plaster this film with impossibility of realism. Honestly, I don’t know where such critiques come up with these things. As with Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings films, I’m certain there were things in this film that were one-hundred percent rendered by computers. But I’m also quite certain that I was fooled. Some of the animation looks so very real, it’s absolutely uncanny. Of course – there are some lower points in the animation. There’s one particular character, for instance, who is entirely computer generated and it’s blatantly obvious. But for the most part, a generous mixture of esthetics and computer imagery kept things remarkably believable.

       For the most part, the film stays true to its inspiration. For the most part. There are some small story elements that the film-makers shoe-horned into the film which weren’t in the book. Non-canon characters inclusion and whatnot. More alarming to me, was that some parts of the story were altered entirely, be it lines flowing from the wrong characters mouth, or turns of events unraveling differently than they should have. But, when looking at the changes made, I knew there would have to be some. Peter Jackson and the folks who put together The Unexpected Journey are all the same folks who created the film adaptations for Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings stories, and while those films were certainly incredible, they weren’t without alterations to the content of inspiration as well. And I mentioned before, the film-makers did leave the most of the story intact in their film adaption. In the end, I can’t remain too cross with them.

       Because An Unexpected Journey really is a fabulous adaption of the first third of The Hobbit and I enjoyed it immensely. Several scenes from the book were pieced together verbatim and were exactly as I imagined them. For instance, in Tolkien’s book The Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins finds himself lost in the depths of a cave and face to face with a horrid little creature named, Gollum. Gollum agrees to show Bilbo the way out of the cave, if he can stump Gollum with a riddle, as well as answer the riddles Gollum poses to Bilbo. The film did so well in depicting this scene, I found myself wishing I could watch it over and over. Honestly, when going to see the film for a second time, the scene that I was looking the most forward to seeing again was the Riddles in the Dark scene. If only the next two parts of this trilogy can do what this first installment has, they’ll be incredible. I wish they would just go and get themselves released already! I don’t really have any interest in waiting!

 

       I’d definitely recommend catching An Unexpected Journey while it’s still in theaters, even if you’re not really a fan of high fantasy or Tolkien’s work. Because while it certainly is a long movie, it’s really an immaculate film in and of itself.

Auld Lang Syne:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind ?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

and auld lang syne?
 

CHORUS: For auld lang syne, my jo,

for auld lang syne,

we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.
 

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp !

and surely I’ll be mine !

And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.
 

CHORUS
 

We twa hae run about the braes,

and pu’d the gowans fine ;

But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,

sin auld lang syne.
 

CHORUS
 

We twa hae paidl’d i' the burn,

frae morning sun till dine ;

But seas between us braid hae roar’d

sin auld lang syne.
 

CHORUS
 

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !

and gie's a hand o’ thine !

And we’ll tak a right gude-willy waught,

for auld lang syne.
 

For auld lang syne, my jo,

for auld lang syne,

we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.


 

James Watson version (1711):
 

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,

and never thought upon;

The flames of Love extinguished,

and fully past and gone:
 

Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,

that loving Breast of thine;

That thou canst never once reflect

on Old long syne.
 

CHORUS: On Old long syne my Jo,

in Old long syne,

That thou canst never once reflect,

on Old long syne.
 

My Heart is ravisht with delight,

when thee I think upon;

All Grief and Sorrow takes the flight,

and speedily is gone.
 

The bright resemblance of thy Face,

so fills this, Heart of mine;

That Force nor Fate can me displease,

for Old long syne.
 

CHORUS
 

Since thoughts of thee doth banish grief,

when from thee I am gone;

will not thy presence yield relief,

to this sad Heart of mine:
 

Why doth thy presence me defeat,

with excellence divine?

Especially when I reflect

on Old long syne
 

On Old long syne my Jo,

in Old long syne,

That thou canst never once reflect,

on Old long syne.


 

                Last night was a most-enjoyable one. I went to a friend’s house to chill and welcome the New Year in. We watched movies and played video games mostly, while snacking on morsels that were barely, if at all, aiding to our health. We did break out our guitars (And his shiny, new mandolin!) to play a few bars though.  It was all good-fun. Egg-Nog and Sparkling cider flowed freely for all who partook. We stayed up ‘till midnight, and then some, giving the New Year a hearty welcome and thinking back on the last year and memories that were made therein. A Lovely evening, really, absolutely lovely.

This past year has so flown by. But reminiscing on the times I enjoyed, this year was a blessing to me, truly. I learned so much these last twelve months and met so many fine people. I’ve made some incredible friends and grown much closer to the ones I knew before. I also see where I’d like my life to go. I feel I have a target; a pinpoint, towards which I can begin trekking. Though I know the hike will be long and the path is still all but entirely obscured, I feel I know where I’m headed at least. Now all that’s left is for me to throw my satchel over my shoulder and take the first step. (What a daunting task that seems though. I know I wouldn’t be able to even start this journey without aid of some kind, and that is the strongest reason I cherish my relationships with my dear friends, loving family members, and awe-inspiring Heavenly Father. My hope, my prayer, is that this journey is one He looks down upon with pride and happiness.)

So cheers, mates! For a grand, new year we have to live and experience. This year is ought to be full of as many, if not more, adventures and surprises within. And certainly dark clouds hang over it, ready to cause confusion and sorrow… but we can yet rejoice, for those clouds are not here, and we can prepare to face them with boldness. Cheers to you all. For old acquaintance need not be forgotten for good times sake. I pray all enjoy a Happy New Year.

Ode to 'Nog...

That'd be a pint and a half o' the stuff... Yumz!

 

I chug this ‘Nog because it is yummy.

Over the tongue and down into the tummy.

 

Available only once a year,

It’s certainly sure to bring lots of cheer.

 

Well – that is unless you’re icky;

One of those weirdoes who’s super picky?

 

Perhaps you just don’t realize what you’re-a missin’!

So set down your fanny and have a good listen.

 

Egg-Nog should be savored and sipped.

It’s a crème-a-la-crème so unlike reindeer chips…

 

Creamy and thick, like a shake made of milk,

It’ll sit on your tongue and feel softer than silk.

 

Because of its rarity this drink can be expensive.

Nonetheless this is no time to be pensive

 

‘Nog is a drink fit for the highest of class.

Pleablings and peasants ought better to pass.

 

But if you feel ready for a treat that is treaty,

Something so tasty for you and your sweetie.

 

I’d suggest drinkin’ a keg of the ol’ ‘Nog.

But savor it slow, don’t be a big hog!

 

 

Merry Christmas, friends, family, and fellow hooligans!