Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Rantin' 'bout window cranks...

I'm a writer. And sometimes we writers only get contentment out of laying down a rant. Because while complaining is horribly unattractive, writing it out can be surprisingly satisfying.

I drive a 1996 Suzuki Sidekick. It's a lovely little car, really. And while she has her quirks, I still enjoy her quite a bit. But, she has one quirk which is quite irksome. Her front windows don't roll up straight, they lean a bit, and one has to slide the glass a bit and then crank the handle a bit, slide, crank, slide, crank... Ugh!

This can be challenging when driving, as customarily one drives with at least one hand on the steering wheel. Somewhere around four months ago I was driving to work, and needed to roll my window back up. Instead of stopping my car to fiddle with the window, I decided to thrash down on the crank and force the window up. It had worked previously a couple times, so why not try again?

Well, this behavior proved to be very naughty. I was rewarded by hearing a sharp crunching sound. Oh the joy! And the window crank was proven utterly useless. Well, useless at rolling the window up. But I thought maybe it had just gotten knocked out of alignment, so I rolled it all the way down in hopes that it would re-engage, and I'd be able to roll it back up. No dice, son.

So there I was, driving a near-hour drive to work, at two-o'clock in the morning, the entire way with my window rolled as far down as it could go. I turned up the heat, but it didn't really help any. Later that evening (While I was sleeping...) my dad pulled off the door paneling and got the window rolled back into place, so that I wouldn't have to worry about folk breaking in and stealing my stuff. My dad's awesome.

Fast forward a bit, I finally decided it was time I fixed that window. So I discovered that the 'regulator' was the part that was broken (Stripped out by the force I put into thrashing on that crank.) and that I could get one for about forty bucks on eBay. I made the order, the piece arrived, and it sat in my car's boot for the next two months. A couple sunny days inspired me to break out my elbow grease and get the darn thing fixed. Because I really like driving with my windows down when the weather's nice around these parts.

So. I pulled out the replacement part, collected my tools, turned a radio on really loud, and got to work. An hour later, I had gutted the door, removed the old regulator, and was scratching my head and wondering why the sodding replacement part wouldn't fit. Was it the wrong part? It was the wrong part, wasn't it! Ah - man!

The guy I bought the part from clearly stated 'No Returns or Exchanges' and my buyer protection through eBay was only with 45 days... so I was stuck with the part. The part I couldn't use. Dang. Sidekicks come in two versions. Two door soft-tops, and four door hard ones. I think this part is for the two door version, where-is, mine's the four door one.

So... I called up a salvage yard that supposedly specialized in Suzuki automobiles, waited on hold for ten minutes, asked if they had the regulator I needed, and they said they could have it in a couple days. Really - I wanted then and there, but what could I do? So I made the order. The hundred and eight dollar order. At the end of the week I still didn't have the part, nor had I received a call about my order, so I called to find out if they had it. The guy on the phone accused me of not being patient so I kinda' just hung up and pouted. I'm impatient, huh? You had me on hold for ten minutes before even asking what I needed, and you accuse me of being impatient? Bugger you!

So yesterday I drove out to the yard, told the guy he was rude, and had him check up on my regulator order. He had my hundred bucks, and I'd driven forty-five minutes out to his yard, he'd better give me some sodding service! He ended up being pretty good about it, even taking me out into the yard to go through doors. But to no avail. They didn't have my part, and the folks they had ordered through hadn't even shipped it at that point. So I politely requested my money back and headed back home.

And now here I am. My only bet is ordering the regulator online, because no-one within an affordable driving distance has one they could sell me. The best deal I can find is about eighty bucks. Which, quite frankly, sucks. I can buy two automatic, power window regulators for that much! So I'm wondering if it isn't more worth my time and money to just switch out my locks and windows to automatic ones. But what a project that would be! Ugh... Five months ago I never even knew what a window regulator was. Now I feel like I wish I never had had to learn! Bah!

So... if you're looking for a window regulator for your 96 Suzuki Sidekick, I have one I can sell to you for eighty bucks. Oh! And it won't even work! What about that? Sound like a deal? Yeah. I thought so too. Alright. I'm done ranting.


  1. I am sorry but your rant made my day. I'm bowling over laughing here at work. Thanks Man. ;)

    1. I endeavor to cause laughter basically everywhere I go. So score one for me here. ;)

  2. Looks like to me as if you're being taught a lesson in patience. =)

  3. Well... I got it fixed. Bought the part online and replaced the broken one. Good learning experience I guess. :P