Today's Exam...

Well now. It’s been a while since I last found myself in bloggersville. Part of that is the fact that I’ve been working a lot these days. And then part of it was also that I was studying hard for a CLEP test I was hoping to take sometime soon. Many already know that I have decided to CLEP my college degree, as in my case it is a more cost effective way to earn my college degree. The particular test I’ve been studying for though, I’ve kind of been putting off. Partly I’ve been putting it off because it will be my first and frankly I’m terrified, and also partly because I just haven’t felt ready to take it. I’ve taken a number of practice tests, some of which I’ve passed, and some of which I’ve failed. Recently, I felt very encouraged to finally take the test, so I filled out an application, and called in to make an appointment. The paper-work was filled out, and my name was on the calendar. All I had to do was wait. And all I did was study and worry. Wednesday, August Eighth was my testing date. Yep, today was the big day.

So I drove some 40 miles to the testing center, praying and fretting the whole way. I was very, very nervous. I didn’t want to be late, so I left much earlier than needed. I arrived with time to spare, got signed in, met the proctors and such, and sat down to take the test. But… well… the computer fried.

Turns out the testing center’s computers had only just gotten a major overhaul the day before, and didn’t actually have all the needed software installed as well as other minor problems. Communication had been buggered so the facility had no idea that they weren’t actually set up for tests. At least not until I and another student attempted to use the computers.

So I drove all the way to the testing facility for… well… for nothing. Needless to say I was peeved. I tried my very best to be polite and understanding. I of all people know how frustrating getting treated like dirt for something you have no control over can be. I thanked them for their time and for doing what they could, and headed back to the parking lot. But once I reached my car all semblance of calmness left me. All I could do was make guttural growls and stomp around. I almost threw my phone, but thought better of it and threw my keys instead. I shook my fist, and felt like kicking something in or punching something out. I spoke with my mom on the phone and she tried to calm me and I hung up with her, and climbed into my car where I immediately broke down. I guess the stress of the exam finally caught up with me and I just had to vent it. So I cried and prayed. I just asked Christ what He was doing to me. What was I supposed to do next? What was He teaching me? Then I wiped my eyes and drove home.

The long drive gave me some extra time to vent I suppose. But I was incredibly disappointed that the drive out to the testing facility was basically for nothing and that this test… well, it’s still lurking out there. I still have to take it, and there’s still the possibility that I’ll fail miserably. My prayer when I climbed out of bed this morning was that I would be a light and a witness, no matter the outcome of my test. I never figured I’d miss out on taking the test entirely! I just hope I responded in a Godly way that was mature and glorifying.

I guess I get a couple more weeks to study for my test after all. I really just wanted it done and over with, but apparently God has other plans. Hopefully I'll be able to take it soon.