Woes of distance

Hi.

It's me again.

I'll be honest, I just don't think I'm a very good blogger. A blogger is fearless. A blogger just slaps out the day's events like it's an adventure after an adventure, and it really isn't, but they act like it is.

I have trouble writing about my every day scenarios. They're not interesting, they're repetitive, and they don't write themselves. And if I'm going to write about something, it needs to excite me.

And yet, here I am. I have nothing especially exciting to write about, but I felt compelled to post something on this derelict web log. A writer ought to write when he's compelled.

For those of you wondering about me personally: I'm doing alright. I'm working full time for the first time in my life. It's a desk job, which isn't really the kind of job that stuffs your life full to brimming with adventures... But I have a good team of people. We all work well together and have a good time.

Portland's weather has been rainier of late. Meaning walks are soggy things. Evenings are better spent inside, with a mug of hot stuff and a book or something.

But while everything seems okay, I miss my friends and my family and my girlfriend. It's not like I'm alone. I have my roommates and my friends down here in Portland. But every time I drive north to visit everyone I get pulled in a million different ways. I want to spend time with Natalie and I want to see my family and I want to see my ol' buddies. I end up trying to do it all and I spread myself thin and don't get nearly enough time with any of them. I feel like my younger siblings are going to grow up and I won't even make so much as a shallow impression in their lives. I feel like I'm going to lose the friends that meant so much to me for so long. And I feel, worst of all, like I'm taking my girlfriend for granted. I want them all to know how much I love them, that's why I try to fit them all in. And instead... they all just feel neglected. Like they're not as important as the next person.

I know I can't make everyone happy. But... these are the people I care the most about. They're the only people I really want to make happy.

Life is tricky. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's felt this way. I can't be the only guy who's experienced this. I've always been scared of letting people down. But lately it feels like I'm letting everyone down.

Christmas is coming. And when the Christmas season happens I always get so excited. It's my favorite time of the year. But this December is going to be crazy. Every weekend is spoken for already. Every weekend is claimed by someone or something. I really hope my favorite time of the year isn't ruined by my trying to fit everyone and everything in.

I guess I just hope everyone is patient with me. It takes a lot of energy to drive back and forth and hither and thither and... all of it. I love everyone. And I'm definitely trying my best. I'll see you guys soon.

... Alright. Crazy, mixed up post. What a way to get back into blogging.

Come to think of it, my Thanksgiving is going to be a saga worth chronicling. So stay tuned for that adventure.